Yesterday was a day of tears and some static noise and more tears. I look back and know I had 3 meetings but the day stretched out till a year and seemed to go on and on.
I told Jim and Suse about the diagnosis, but that I didn’t know any more. They didn’t know what to say but understood that I was scared and they were there for me. That is all you can ask for from friends. That they are there for you.
At this point, I just want answers, an appointment, a plan. I hate not being in control.
Food is my go to for stress and after going out for breakfast this morning, now I am finding Drunch.
I keep on waiting for that moment to kick in, the mortality factor. The thought that all these things can go wrong. But, I am still in denial. This is something easily overcome and I just have to start doing it. But, there is no facts behind the thoughts and doubt creeps in.
I search and I read online trying to find answers without any facts. And at 1-3% of all breast cancers being Paget’s disease there isn’t very many stories to relate to.
1-3% of all breast cancer is Paget’s Disease of the breast. That is a very scary thought and definitely not in the ‘rare category’ that I have strived to be in all my life.
A lot of posts talk about anger, but all I feel is fear, stress and a hint of feeling lost. As if I am disconnected with the world moving on around me. I am reminded that we never really know what is going on in someone’s mind and life as we brush pass them on our way to somewhere else.